Article | Funding Your Divorce: Costs Explained

If you know someone who has been through a divorce, you may have heard them mention the “Form E”, or “financial disclosure”. You may have come across the form itself on the government website for divorce, called in full a ‘financial statement for a financial order (Form E)’. The form is found in the section where a couple have asked the court to decide how their money and property should be split on divorce, often because they cannot agree between them. The guidance says that both parties need to fill it out before their first court hearing, to give a breakdown of their property and debts, as well as an estimate of their future living expenses. But what actually is the Form E, and what is ‘financial disclosure’? Why are these so important in divorce?

What is financial disclosure

Financial disclosure is the process of sharing with your ex-spouse details of all of your finances (in the UK and abroad), including:

your employment, salary and any bonuses;
any other income such as rental income or benefits;
addresses and estimated value of your property;
bank accounts;
ISAs or other investments or savings;
business interests;
debts; and
anything else relevant to your finances, be that financial assistance from friends or family, trust interests, financial dependants, and so on.

It is always recommended to engage in financial disclosure if you are divorcing. This is so that both parties have a complete picture of the marital finances, and therefore a clear understanding of their financial claims against each other associated with their divorce.

What is Form E?

Form E is the 30-page court form that seeks to capture all of the financial information listed above, and requires you to provide copies of bank statements, mortgage statements, policy documents and so on to prove your financial situation. It is set out mostly in table format, and it calculates your net worth and your net income.

Form E also asks you to estimate your average monthly outgoings for yourself – including rent/ mortgage payments, travel costs, food, leisure, subscriptions etc – and your monthly outgoings for any children, itemised per child.

Form E is a financial snapshot, accurate to the date that it is signed. However, bank statements must be provided for the 12 months prior to the Form E date, and the form asks you to disclose any significant changes in your finances in the last year, such as the sale of any property or any changes in income. It also asks you to state what your projected income in the next year will be.

Form E requires a witnessed signature and statement of truth confirming that the information contained in the form is correct. This means that if you are involved in court proceedings, any false information in your Form E constitutes the offence of Contempt of Court.

Should I do my own version of financial disclosure, rather than Form E?

The extent of detail and depth you go into when exchanging financial disclosure is initially up to you. You might be fairly confident that you know everything about your spouse’s finances already, or it might be that you and your spouse have always only kept joint bank accounts and own the family home jointly, rather than holding assets in your separate names. In these scenarios you may feel comfortable agreeing that you need not each complete Form E in full, since it is quite onerous. It is still helpful to refer to Form E as a guide or checklist.

If you have agreed with your ex-spouse to just send top-line figures/ estimates of their finances, but you suspect that they have not told you everything, or that there is other financial support/ assets in the background, you may want to consider suggesting both completing a Form E. It is always fair and justified to insist on full and frank financial disclosure in the form of Form E.

If you instruct lawyers to advise you in your divorce, the first thing that lawyers will want to exchange with your spouse’s lawyers is Forms E. Lawyers may agree to do “short-form” Form E, or exclude certain sections of the Form, in order to save time and costs, but this must be expressly agreed between the parties.

If you engage in mediation, any good mediator will equally ask for you to both send to the mediator and to each other details of your finances. Some mediators will ask you to complete Form E, or they may have their own version of a financial disclosure form that is similar to Form E.

If either of you has started court proceedings to determine the financial outcome of your divorce, you will not have a choice and you must both complete Form E by the deadline set by the court.

Why is so much emphasis put on Form E and financial disclosure?

Form E and full financial disclosure is so important because a party to a divorce cannot possibly know what they are gaining or giving up by agreeing to a financial consent order without knowing the truth of the financial situation. You would not engage in any other major financial negotiation in your life without knowing all the facts, so why take the risk on your divorce?

Equally if you are in court proceedings on the finances, it is critical that the court has all the relevant information in order for the judge to make the right decision as to how assets should be divided and as to whether any spousal maintenance should be ordered.

The worst case scenario is a financial order being made, either contested or by consent, only for one of the parties to the divorce to discover that their ex-spouse was in fact due to be paid a large bonus or windfall payment; that they were planning to immediately cohabit with someone with significant financial resources to support them; or that they had access to a trust fund or other “hidden” savings. Engaging in full and frank financial disclosure by way of Form E considerably lowers the risk of this happening.

If you are separating and starting to consider your financial future post-separation, do not hesitate to get in touch with a member of the team here at Edwards Family Law so that we can guide you through the process of financial disclosure and advise.

What is Cohabitation?

Cohabitation refers to a situation where two people live together as a couple without being legally married or in a civil partnership. Often referred to as “living together” or erroneously as a “common-law marriage” (though the latter is not a legal term in the England and Wales), cohabiting couples typically share a home, finances, and a domestic life, but do not have the legal status of a married couple or civil partners.

Does Cohabitation Affect Divorce?

In England and Wales, cohabitation does not directly impact divorce, since divorce laws only apply to legally married couples or those in civil partnerships. However, for cohabiting couples who separate, there is no equivalent legal process for “divorce.” Instead, their separation is treated differently under family law, which can affect financial settlements, property rights, and other matters.

Key Differences Between Cohabitation and Divorce:

Legal Rights:
- Married Couples: When a married couple divorces, they are entitled to claim a fair division of assets and financial support, including spousal maintenance if necessary. The court has a broad discretion to divide assets based on factors such as each party’s contributions, the length of the marriage, and the needs of each party.
- Cohabiting Couples: If a cohabiting couple splits up, there is no automatic legal right to share assets or receive spousal support. Property and assets are typically divided based on ownership, meaning that the person whose name is on the title or deed of a property generally retains ownership, unless the other party can prove a beneficial interest.

Property Rights:
- Married Couples: Upon divorce, married couples have the right to claim an equitable share of assets, including family homes, regardless of whose name is on the deed.
- Cohabiting Couples: Cohabiting couples do not have automatic property rights. If the couple separates, the property is divided based on legal ownership, and the courts do not generally intervene to divide property unless there is a formal agreement, like a cohabitation agreement, or a claim to a beneficial interest (e.g., if both partners contributed to the mortgage or maintenance).

Children’s Rights:
- For both married and cohabiting couples, child arrangements and maintenance rights remain the same. Parents—whether married or cohabiting—have a duty to support their children financially, and both parties have the right to seek a child arrangements order through the courts if there is a dispute.

Cohabitation Agreements:

To avoid disputes upon separation, cohabiting couples can draft a cohabitation agreement, which outlines the division of assets, finances, and responsibilities should the relationship end. While this agreement is not legally binding, it can be used as evidence in court to determine asset division and financial responsibilities.

The Growing “Cohabitation Crisis”:

In the UK, the number of cohabiting couples has increased significantly in recent years. Despite this, there is a lack of legal recognition and protection for cohabitants when relationships end. Many people mistakenly assume that they have the same legal rights as married couples, which often leads to disputes when relationships break down. This has led to calls for reform to offer better legal protections for cohabiting couples, especially when it comes to financial support and property division.

Conclusion:

While cohabitation does not directly impact divorce in England and Wales, it creates a different set of legal considerations for couples who separate. Married couples have a clear legal process for divorce and financial settlements, whereas cohabiting couples may face difficulties when dividing assets or seeking financial support. It’s important for those living together without marriage to understand their legal rights and consider a cohabitation agreement to safeguard their interests in case of a split.

The short answer is no, but this does not mean that a pre-nuptial agreement is not worth entering into. Quite the opposite; if you are marrying and you have any concerns about how your existing assets or your future savings and asset purchases would be treated if you were to sadly divorce in the future, a ‘pre-nup’ is essential. It can have a drastic impact on the outcome of your finances in the event of a divorce.

No-one enters into marriage thinking that they will get divorced, of course. We are not here to say that you will get divorced! Marriage is a symbolic commitment, but it is also, legally speaking, a major financial commitment. You are vowing to share your ‘property’ with the other person. Property includes the obvious ones such as real estate and physical possessions, but it also includes savings, and any increase in the value of any investments during the marriage. If you do not want to risk a large proportion, and in some instances half or even more, of those assets remaining in your spouse’s ownership following a divorce, then a pre-nuptial agreement is your only option.

A pre-nuptial agreement is not a legally binding contract. This means that it will not necessarily be followed ‘word for word’, exactly to the letter, in the event of a divorce. This is to protect people from singing a pre-nuptial agreement that would leave them in an impossible financial situation before a wedding, without fully understanding its true implications, and then being held to it at a later date.

In order for a court to uphold a pre-nuptial agreement, it must have been freely entered into (i.e. not under duress) by both parties with a full appreciation of its implications. A full appreciation of its implications is generally viewed to require both parties having disclosed in full their finances to each other, and to have taken (or at least had the opportunity to have taken) proper legal advice before signing the pre-nuptial agreement. This way, both parties understand what they are potentially ‘giving up’, or are protecting/ gaining by signing the agreement.

There is then a further sense-test that a pre-nuptial agreement must pass in order for a court to uphold it on divorce. This is that it must not be unfair to hold the parties to their agreement in the prevailing circumstances at the time of the divorce. This is to allow for the fact that a couple can rarely, if ever, foresee what their life will look like at the time of divorce when they are signing the pre-nuptial agreementbefore their marriage. They might have since taken on the full-time care of a dependant family member; they may have moved to a different part of the country; they may have taken on various financial commitments such as school fees and so on. Therefore the court retains some discretion in checking that following the terms of the pre-nup on divorce would not leave one party in a position of financial hardship or dire need. This is why it cannot be said that a pre-nup is legally binding.

To ensure that this ‘sense-test’ does not defeat the pre-nuptial agreement, pre-nups are typically quite a flexible document. They will state some specific assets, or types of asset, that will not be shared with your spouse on divorce. This means that there will be no automatic concept of the assets being split between you just by virtue of your marriage – they will only be divided or sold in order for some amount to be paid to your spouse if there is a financial need to do so, i.e. some equity has to be freed up in order to help your spouse re-house or to pay for reasonable daily outgoings. However they will not set in stone every single aspect of financial considerations on divorce.

Do not hesitate to get in touch with us here at Edwards Family Law to assist you in drawing up your pre-nup. Equally if you are already married but you think an agreement on your finances would help you, we can advise you on a “post-nup” or “mid-nup”. We are a leading firm recognised by the Legal 500.

What is a consent order on divorce?

A consent order is a legally binding document that sets out what has been agreed between divorcing parties in respect of their finances, including property, pensions, investments, businesses and maintenance. The document is drawn up by solicitors, agreed, signed and submitted to the court along with a form called a D81 (which sets out a summary of each party’s financial position). The judge will consider these documents to ensure that the agreement that has been reached is fair and if so, will approve the order, which makes it legally binding.

Who gets consent orders?

We prepare consent orders in almost every case where couples are divorcing, whether the parties have reached an agreement directly, in mediation, with the assistance of solicitors and with or without court proceedings.

How long does a consent order take?

You cannot file a consent order with the court until you have the ‘conditional order’ in your divorce. This is the second stage of the divorce, and it usually takes around 6 months for this to be granted because once you have filed for divorce, there is a 20-week waiting period before you can apply for a conditional order.

In terms of preparation, a consent order can be drafted quickly (and we have been known to turn them around in less than a day). How long it takes to be agreed depends on the other party and their lawyers. In more straightforward cases, there can be a few weeks of back and forth but in more complex cases, it can be a lengthier process.

Therefore, from the start of the divorce process it is likely to take 7 – 9 months to get your approved consent order. However, if you already have your conditional order in the divorce, and have agreed in respect of the finances, it could take as little as 1 – 2 months to get this drafted, submitted and approved by a judge.

How long does it take for a consent order to be approved?

Once everything has been agreed and signed, one party’s solicitor will submit the order to the court via the online HMCTS portal where it will be referred to a judge. As a general rule of thumb it takes 2 – 4 weeks for the order to be considered (and usually approved). However, if your order lands in the inbox of a judge who has a quiet day then you could see it approved within 24 hours.

How often are consent orders rejected?

The court has a broad discretion which enables parties to agree to a range of different but equally acceptable outcomes. If matters go to trial, we always advise clients that ten different judges could come up with ten different outcomes in their case, which would all be deemed legally correct. However, the court does not rubber stamp consent orders and will carefully consider what has been agreed as against the financial disclosure in the D81 form. If there is a clear imbalance in the agreement reached and it is unclear how one party will meet their needs, the court may reject the order and ask the parties for further explanation or to revisit the agreement. This is more likely if one party has not had legal advice. Whilst it is fairly rare for consent orders to be rejected if parties have taken legal advice and acted upon this, it does happen on the odd occasion.

How can I avoid my consent order being rejected?

Ensure both parties have legal advice and that this is recorded within the consent order
Speak to a solicitor, who will be able to advise you about the likelihood of the order being rejected and what can be done to mitigate against this
Set out detailed explanation in the D81 about why the agreement has been reached

How much do consent orders cost?

The preparation of a consent order, the accompanying documents such as the D81 and any pension sharing documents will usually cost in the region of £1,500 – £3,000 plus VAT. There is also a court fee of £58 for the party that files the consent order.

How long do consent orders last?

Consent orders are final. If you have a ‘clean break’ consent order in respect of all claims for both income and capital then this marks the end of your financial ties. However, if, for example, spousal maintenance is payable by one party, then the order will not provide an income clean break until the end of the maintenance term. Whilst maintenance is payable, either party can apply back to the court to have this varied. This application can only be made if there has been a significant change of circumstances (i.e. the receiving party cannot meet their needs due to illness or job loss and so needs more maintenance or the paying party can no longer meet the order due a reduction in income). Capital clean breaks are included in almost every case which prevents the parties from mounting further claims for property, pensions or lump sums in the future. In rare cases, for example, where there has been severe non-disclosure, the court may sanction capital claims being left open for a certain period. If capital or income claims are left open the court will always be conscious to ensure that there is a defined end point when no more claims can be brought.

Are court orders public record?

A consent order will not be entered into the public record, however, if you are unable to settle your financial claims and attend a final hearing, the court may publish the decision that it makes. There is an increased push towards transparency in the family court and in some circumstances, parties will be named within the judgments which is worth bearing in mind whilst litigating.

Do I really need a consent order?

If you have limited assets, you may feel that this process is unnecessary. However, to ensure that financial ties are severed you must have a consent order in place. The famous case of Wyatt v Vince made it all the way to the Supreme Court in 2015 on this very issue. The parties had divorced over 20 years previously, they never resolved their finances and both were effectively penniless at the time. Fast forward 20 years, the husband was a green energy millionaire, and his ex-wife had the ability to make a financial claim against him. Mr Vince would likely advise that you are better safe than sorry!

The media have coined the term “Divorce Day”. This is the first Monday in January and this year falls on Monday 6 January 2025. “Divorce Day” is considered to be the most popular day for couples to initiate divorce proceedings. Below we explore the potential reasons for this and considerations if are you are thinking of separating.

Why does January see more divorce enquiries?

It is fair to say that most family lawyers see an uplift in enquiries at the start of the new year and this can be for a variety of reasons. The festive period can be very stressful, both financially and emotionally. For couples who are already struggling, this can only exacerbate issues. Many also see the New Year as a fresh start, so addressing relationship issues and taking steps to separate may be on the list.

For couples with children, separating just before Christmas is not an attractive option. Couples may therefore decide to stay together until the festive period is over. Many solicitors see a rise in enquiries in the lead-up to Christmas. Clients want to take legal advice about their rights, but then wait to take formal action until the New Year.

Other issues impacting the decision to file for divorce

According to the most recent report published by the Office for National Statistics there has been a decline in the number of divorces. In 2022 there were 80,057 divorces granted in England and Wales, a 29.5% decrease compared with 2021 and the lowest number of divorces since 1971. We do not know the exact reason for the decline, however the cost-of-living crisis may have influenced people’s decisions to divorce.

A Legal & General study in 2025 found 272,000 people have delayed their divorce due to the cost-of-living pressures. Although 2024 saw interest rates and mortgage rates decrease slightly, the cost-of-living pressures remain. Potential clients are becoming increasing reticent and concerned to initiate proceedings, with many taking advice and then telling us that they want to sit tight, believing a divorce or separation to be ‘unaffordable’ at the moment. Creating two households out of one seems unaffordable for many.

What to consider if you are thinking of separating

Making the decision to separate, whether now or in the future, it extremely difficult. Getting divorced is not only a legal process, but also is an emotional journey and you should ensure you have the right support in place.

You should consider obtaining legal advice as early as possible. Taking legal advice does not need to lead to separation or divorce, but arming yourself with the information so that you can prepare yourself for this eventuality can be empowering, whatever way you decide to go, knowledge is power after all. Ensuring you also have emotional support is important. Whether this be family or friends or looking to a professional for support, for example a therapist or divorce coach. The emotional toll of a divorce should not be underestimated.

When to formally separate

There is no one size fits all approach. What is right for you may be different to someone else, and it is important to take the process at your pace. Some people choose to emotionally separate but not formally move apart and deal with their financial arrangements. This arrangement is often something that we would advise against. Whilst some may believe that they would prefer to wait until asset values increase, this can be a false economy. Certainly, once a couple (or even one party) has made the decision to separate, staying in a marriage or relationship at that stage can be very claustrophobic and stressful, and can also seriously impact the mental health of children involved in the midst. It is true to say that this arrangement will also only work if there is complete trust between the separating couple.

Delaying formally separating may also give one party the chance to change the financial position, for example over-spending, moving money out of reach etc. It is crucial to deal transparently with financial disclosure in the event of a financial separation and divorce. Delaying formally separating may make it much harder, and much more expensive, to unpick the truth and work out what a true representation of any financial outcome ought to be.

Prolonging the inevitable might not be the best financial decision in the long term, particularly if pensions need to be divided. We have seen drastic fluctuations in pension valuations recently. Whilst that of course affects everyone across the board, formally sharing pensions on divorce sooner rather than later at least provides some certainty to the recipient party that they have full control of their share of what is often the most significant asset of the marriage or partnership, after the family home, even in a volatile market.

How Edwards Family Law can assist

As family solicitors we are mindful of the pitfalls that come with waiting to separate, which we will discuss honestly and transparently with you. However, what is right for you and your family is a decision for you to make. In the event that we are instructed to assist, our aim is to advise pragmatically from the outset to try to preserve a good working relationship with the other party and/or their solicitor, and give advice that is sensible from the outset in terms of preserving your costs position. If, therefore, one of the big concerns is proportionality in dealing with the case sensibly and cost effectively, and that is what is putting a potential client off from formally actioning their separation, we can certainly assist.

A contentious issue for many parents is what school their child attends and it is unsurprising that upon divorce this can be one of the key issues. For parents with children at private school the issue of whether school fees should continue to be paid and, if so, by who is often a hotly contested issue, especially given the recent increase in school fees now VAT at 20% is payable from 1 January 2025.

Often parents primary concern is ensuring stability for their child during the separation, and remaining at the same school is advantageous. The difficulty is you are trying to create two households now and the financial pressure on the family often increases.

What did the budget say?

Rachel Reeves confirmed in the budget on 30 October 2024 “the government will introduce 20% VAT on education and boarding services provided for a charge by private schools from 1 January 2025.” As a result, school fees will be even more expensive and disputes regarding the affordability of them likely to be on the rise.

"VAT on Private School Fees: Key Considerations for Divorcing Parents"
As divorcing parents navigate financial decisions, understanding the implications of VAT on private school fees is critical. This article explores how these costs may impact co-parenting arrangements, financial settlements, and children's education plans, offering practical guidance for families during challenging transitions.

How should I approach the payment of private school fees with my ex

If possible, it is always preferable for separated couples to agree a financial settlement themselves, either through negotiation (directly or with the assistance of solicitors) and/or mediation. This can be quicker and cheaper than going to court. If your child (or children) are old enough, you may wish to consider child-inclusive mediation. This would provide the children with the opportunity to attend mediation to express their own views on their schooling, and how any changes, either to fee- or nonfee-paying education, might affect them. Whilst their comments and views would not be binding on the parents following those discussions, it can be a powerful indicator to parents as to their children’s wishes and feelings in the context of the matter as a whole, which can sometimes crack the case one way or another.

If you are unable to reach an agreement you may wish to explore other out of court options, such as arbitration. Failing this the court has the power to make orders in respect of school fees.

Can school fees be considered in a divorce financial settlement?

Continuity in schooling is important for children, especially if they are in key exam years, and a court is likely to accept that. However, they are considered in the realm of the overall financial landscape and if they cannot be afforded the court may not grant a school fees order.

The courts will consider all the factors under section 25 of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 when deciding the outcome in a financial remedy application. This includes the resource available to both parties (including capital and income) and the needs of each party, including any dependent children. Each case will considered on its own facts and whether or not private school fees can be considered a “need” will be considered in the realm of all the circumstances of your case. If there are sufficient financial resources available the court will consider how your child is currently or was expected to be educated in making a decision.

A school fees order can be made as part of the wider financial settlement. A school fees order should cover who pays the school fees, how they will be paid (from capital or income) and how long they should be paid. You should also consider “extras” to school fees including uniform, activities etc. and who should be responsible for paying these.

For parents who already have a final financial order that includes payment of school fees, the imposition of VAT on private school fees could lead to them no longer being affordable. Time will tell if disputes over payment of private school fees will end up before the court, both in circumstances where parents are trying to reach an agreement on divorce now and also where a final order has already been made.

If you require advice on paying school fees following a divorce, please do not hesitate to contact us.

Speaking exclusively to the Mirror about the likelihood of the footballer’s childhood sweetheart walking away with £13.5m, Kelly Edwards, managing partner of Edwards Family Law, said: “It’s very likely – the starting point in English law is that you share equally what has been made during the marriage, this includes cohabitation and so the fact they were childhood sweethearts (and presumably living together for quite a significant period) means she is entitled to share in those assets.”

Read the full article Here

Divorce can be a turbulent and highly emotive process for anyone, and it is especially so when dealing with a partner who exhibits narcissistic patterns of behaviour. The term “narcissist” is commonly used in society but what does it really mean. There is a saying that all psychopaths are narcissists but not all narcissists are psychopaths. For anyone who has been in a relationship with a narcissist and is attempting to divorce them, this fact may seem a small mercy. Unfortunately, many successful people have significant narcissistic traits, therefore, we often deal with spouses in high-net-worth (HNW) and international divorces who are trying to escape a narcissist.

The term narcissist is used a great deal these days. However, someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is very different from a person who enjoys posting selfies. Often charming and personable in public (including the courtroom), someone with NPD can be controlling, superficial, manipulative, and downright dangerous. Although the UK family law system is geared towards encouraging couples to work out financial settlements and arrangements for children between themselves or through mediation rather than going to Court, a narcissist will thrive on dragging out proceedings as long as possible. Furthermore, someone with NPD is unlikely to ever admit they did anything wrong and will blame you for the relationship breaking down, meaning reaching an agreement outside of Court extremely difficult, if not impossible.

To stay strong and sane, you need to instruct an experienced, tough solicitor who will refuse to engage with your spouse’s gameplaying and will tenaciously fight to ensure you and your children’s best interests are protected.

What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

NPD is a recognised mental illness. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), a guidebook used by mental health professionals, people with NPD have five or more of the below traits:

A grandiose sense of self-importance
Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
A belief that one is special and can only be understood by or associate with special people or institutions
A need for excessive admiration
A sense of entitlement (to special treatment)
Exploitation of others
A lack of empathy
Envy of others or the belief that one is the object of envy
Arrogant, haughty behaviour, or attitudes

NPD will usually cause problems in everyday life, such as relationships and work. Identifying narcissistic traits isn’t always straightforward and for some it is only when they leave a relationship with a narcissist, they realise their ex had these traits. The impact NPD has had on them then truly comes to light.

Like all mental health issues, narcissism is a spectrum. People such as Bill Gates, Kayne West, Donald Trump, and Mariah Carey have all been accused of displaying narcissistic traits which may make them difficult to be married to. However, this does not necessarily mean they have full-blown NPD. Regardless, navigating a relationship with a narcissist can be extremely challenging and this is only heightened when legal issues are involved, such as divorce and child arrangements. Characteristics a narcissist may exhibit during legal issues are:

The need to have total power and control;
Unwilling to compromise;
Always trying to “win”;
Minimising their previous behaviour;
Delaying or obfuscating the process; and
Lack of empathy.

Negotiating financial settlements

It can be extremely difficult to negotiate the terms of a financial settlement with someone with NPD. Many lack empathy and are unable to put themselves in someone else’s shoes and consider their needs. Furthermore, many narcissists use the divorce process to try and manipulate and control the situation. Although family law solicitors, especially those who are members of Resolution, try to help couples settle without going to Court, such an aim is often nearly impossible if one party is a narcissist.

It can often be extremely frustrating trying to reach an agreement with a narcissist and you may think it is simply easier to let them have what they want in terms of the financial settlement so you and your children can get out of the situation and find some peace. A narcissist will often try and use financial tactics to leverage control, for example hiding assets, providing inadequate financial disclosure or attempting to prolong the matter. Rather than jeopardise your right to a fair financial settlement, it is possible to put in place safeguards to protect you, such as having all communications regarding your divorce go through your solicitor. A solicitor experienced in HNW divorce will undoubtedly have come across narcissists many times and will have the emotional detachment and the strategies to sort out the financial settlement efficiently and effectively, regardless of any game-playing by your spouse.

Arrangements for children

Studies show that growing up with a narcissistic parent is incredibly damaging for a child and narcissistic parents can be emotionally distant, self-centred, neglectful and in some cases even abusive. Although narcissists are primarily focused on themselves, they may not hesitate to fight for your children to primarily reside with them in order to exert control or hurt you, and may make false accusations to bolster their narrative, such as alleging parental alienation.

Co-parenting with a narcissist can be extremely difficult and it is important to put in place safeguards to protect both you and your children. This can include putting in place firm boundaries and communicating only through written means, for example through an app where tone of correspondence can be monitored.

At Edwards Family Law we are well versed in such tactics and will, if required, organise for expert witness reports setting out the impact of the narcissistic parent’s behaviour on your children, especially if it tips over into abuse in terms of coercive and controlling behaviour.

In summary

Divorcing a narcissist is difficult for everyone involved. More than ever, it is vital that you instruct a solicitor who is not only experienced in HNW divorce but also in managing cases where one spouse exhibits narcissistic traits.

If you recognise these patterns please contact us so we can guide you through the process and protect you through this extremely difficult period of your life.
“You will never get the truth out of a Narcissist. The closest you will ever come is a story that either makes them the victim or the hero, but never the villain.”
― Shannon L. Alder

If the parents of a child are married, both parents have the power and duty to register a birth and give the child a name. If they are not married, only the mother has the power and duty to do so. It is therefore easy to see how issues can arise during the birth registration process. Issues can also arise several years later. For example, the parents of a child who was given the father’s surname, might separate and the mother now wants their child to be known by her surname (or the surname to be double barrelled). Equally, there are fathers who were not consulted and who would like the child’s surname to be changed.

To change a child’s name, you need either the agreement of all persons with parental responsibility or a Specific Issue Order. Applications are made under s.8 Children Act 1989 and must address any relevant welfare concerns under section 1 of the Children Act 1989 (the “welfare checklist”).

By agreement

If the parents are agreed, the government has recently updated the forms that need to be completed to change the child’s name by deed poll. You can access the relevant forms here.

You can change any part of the child’s name, add or remove hyphens and change the spelling. You cannot change their title (e.g. Master or Miss) and you cannot change any capitalisations of the letters in their name. You must complete forms LOC022, LOC023, LOC024 and LOC026. The cost is £49.32.

If the child is adopted, you can change the child’s name during the adoption process.

If there is no agreement

The parent who wants to change the child’s name, must issue an application for a Specific Issue Order.

A legal case in 1999 set out the background and framework for judges to consider when deciding whether a child’s name should be changed. These are:

(a) If parents are married, they both have the power and the duty to register their child’s names.

(b) If they are not married, the mother has the sole duty and power to do so.

(c) After registration of the child’s names, the grant of a residence order (now known as a ‘lives with order’) means any person wishing to change the surname must obtain the permission of the court or the written consent of all those who have parental responsibility for the child.

(d) In the absence of a Lives with Order, the person wishing to change the surname from the registered name should obtain the relevant written consent or the permissionof the court by making an application for a Specific Issue Order.

(e) The welfare of the child is paramount and the judge must have regard to the s 1(3) [of the Children Act 189] criteria [the welfare checklist].

(f) The factors which the court should consider are the registered surname of the child and the reasons for the registration e.g. recognition of the biological link with the child’s father. Registration is always a relevant and an important consideration, but it is not the only thing the court will consider. Other relevant factors will be considered.

(g) Factors to consider includes factors which may arise in the future as well as currently.

(h) Changing the child’s surname because it is not the same as the parent making the application to change it will not usual be successful.

(i) The reasons for an earlier one-sided decision to change a child’s name may be relevant.

(j) Any changes of circumstances of the child since the original registration may be relevant.

(k) In the case of a child whose parents were married to each other, the fact of the marriage is important. There would have to be strong reasons to change the name from the father’s surname if the child was registered with his surname.

(l) If the parents were not married, the mother has control over registration. Therefore, the degree of commitment from the father to the child, the quality of contact (if it occurs) between father and child, the existence or absence of parental responsibility are all relevant factors to take into account by the court.

Each case will be decided on its own facts and the ‘welfare checklist’ will be the court’s main consideration. Unless there are special circumstances, the courts are in support of the idea that a child’s name should reflect both their maternal and paternal heritage. In a 2002 legal case, the judge said that a child’s surname is of ‘particular significance’ because it ‘denotes the family to which the child belongs’. In another case in 2001, the judge said, “…parents and courts should be much more prepared to contemplate the use of both surnames in an appropriate case, because that is to recognise the importance of both parents”. There have, of course, been many more cases since these in the early two thousands, but these general principles continue to be applied by the courts now and we are unlikely to see a change in this trend.

In Practice

Whilst case law favours the recognition of both parents when deciding on a child’s surname, this will not be appropriate in every case and certainly it will be easier to change a younger child’s name than a child who has more awareness and understanding of their name and its significance. The overall outcome will depend on which judge (or magistrate) is hearing the case and, of course, the specific circumstances of each case. It is therefore very difficult to advise clients on the likely outcome. The expense and uncertainty are inevitably off-putting, but it is the only way to change a child’s name if the parents cannot agree. Before issuing a court application, the court will want to know that the parents have first attempted to resolve the disagreement via mediation. Mediation, if successful, will likely resolve the issue more quickly and at less expense.

Are you supposed to be receiving child maintenance but the paying parent has moved abroad? Or are you being pursued for child maintenance, having moved abroad, and think that the amount is wrong or needs to be revised? If so, you will want to understand how REMO can help you.

REMO stands for Reciprocal Enforcement of Maintenance Orders and it is essentially an international agreement between countries to help recover or make changes to child maintenance from parents who live in different countries.

REMO can help parents living in England or Wales (when the other parent has moved abroad) and if a parent is living abroad (and the paying parent lives in England or Wales). This is on the strict basis that both countries are participating REMO countries.

Before beginning the REMO process you must first ensure that you have a child maintenance order (or equivalent) that you can enforce. In England or Wales this will involve making an application under Schedule 1 of the Children Act 1989 (via Form A) for an order specifying how much child maintenance the other parent should pay. You can make this application and obtain the court order even if the other parent does not engage with the court proceedings. It is important to take this step first because without it you have no order to enforce via the REMO system. A calculation from the Child Maintenance Service will not suffice. You must have a court order.

The aim of the REMO system is for reciprocating countries to enforce the child maintenance order you have as if a court in that country had made the order itself. It sounds straightforward but the REMO system can be complex and slow.

Once you have a court order (confirming the amount of child maintenance to be paid), the first stage in the REMO process is to find out where the ‘Central Authority’ is in the country where you live. All applications must go through this Central Authority. The Central Authority in England is at: The Reciprocal Enforcement of Maintenance Orders Unit (REMO), Victory House, 30-34 Kingsway, London, WC2B 6EX. You can find the list of reciprocating countries and their Central Authority addresses here: https://www.hcch.net/en/states/authorities

Once you know where your Central Authority is, you need to make an application for ‘registration and enforcement of your order’. The precise form and details you need to provide will vary from country to country.

Your application will need to be supported by documentation i.e. your original court order and details of any steps you have taken to try to obtain payment from the paying parent directly. It will also be helpful for the application to include details of where you think the paying parent lives and works. The more information the better. If any of your documents are not in the language of the court who will be asked to deal with enforcing the decision, you will need to obtain a translation.

Registering and applying to enforce your order is a very important step that must be done correctly. If it is not, the court will not have the power to obtain payment from the other parent. You can make the application yourself in England or Wales (with the assistance of REMO) but you may want to consider instructing a specialist family solicitor to ensure this is done correctly.

Your Central Authority is likely to require you to obtain a ‘Statement of Enforceability’ from the court that made the original order to send with the application. So, contact the court as early as possible about this. You may need to attend in person before a judge to obtain this documentation. Again, you may prefer to instruct a specialist family solicitor to assist with this.

You do not have to use a lawyer to access the REMO system, but the application process can be complex and confusing. Even if you do not instruct a lawyer to assist you with the application, it is advisable to instruct a specialist lawyer in the country where the court will hear your application (where the paying parent lives) to ensure that you are best represented at any court hearings.

Once your court order has been registered in the reciprocating REMO country (this can take many months), you can proceed as if that country made the order in the first place i.e. apply to enforce it.

The REMO process also allows for the original court order to be modified or reconsidered in certain circumstances i.e. the amount due to be paid can be changed by the foreign court dealing with it. This is useful if you find yourself on the receiving end of a REMO application.

In England or Wales, an application to enforce a family court order and deal with any arrears is likely to involve 3 separate court hearings. The first two will be preliminary ‘directions’ hearings at which the court determines what further evidence is needed from the parties – for example disclosure of P60s, tax returns or witness statements. The last hearing is a Final Hearing – at which you may need to give evidence in the witness box. At the end of the Final Hearing a judge will determine whether money is owed and, if so, how much. The court may also use its powers to ensure payment is made. For example, in England and Wales the court has the power to put a charge on someone’s property or make an ‘attachment of earnings order’ (where the court can obtain payment directly from someone’s employer). The power the court has to obtain funds for you will depend on which country is dealing with your REMO application.

If you are successful in enforcing your court order and you incurred legal costs in doing so, it would be advisable to request a cost order against the other parent. Whether you can obtain a cost order at the end of a REMO case will depend on the specific rules of the country enforcing the order and the specific circumstances of your case, but it is always something to request.